Reader,

Welcome to week 4 of Harness your Inner Critic.

This week you may wish to listen to the Week 4 audio lesson, OR read the this email (same as the audio), whichever feels more inviting to you.

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Here’s a quick recap of your journey so far:

1. Week 1: First we started by creating safety from your inner critic through self-acupressure and massage on the acupoint pericardium 6, Neiguan or Inner Crossing. Creating a safe buffer is powerful as it ensures that your inner critics cannot harm or hurt you.
2. Week 2: Then in week 2, we experimented with the exercise of catching the inner critic, noticing which moments during the day and what specific scenarios your inner critic pops up, and what they are saying to you in those moments.
3. Week 3: Building on that exercise, last week we focused on going beyond the surface to decipher the essence of what your Inner critic has to say. deciphering the inner critic, exploring the impact of their words on your actions. We also noticed if there were basic themes coming up - your inner critic may have been protecting you from the disappointment of being rejected by others, fear of failure, or social anxiety.

Reaching the end of module 1, I wanted to check in with you to see how you are doing.

How are you? How have you been getting on with your inner critic?

MEETING RESISTANCE:

Chances are you probably faced resistance from your inner critic at some point.

Especially if you’ve got a lot on your plate at the moment, you might feel overwhelmed that you’re behind on this course. You might feel guilty if you didn’t do all the exercises, or listen to the audio lessons as you had hoped.

In fact, your inner critic might be criticising you with how you’re completing the exercises. It might be saying that you’re not doing them well, you missed something out. Your critic might be saying that this is a waste of your time, you’ll never be able to do it right, and so on.

On the other hand, resistance surface in another way, through avoidance or procrastination. You might notice that though you value this course, you can’t seem to find the time or motivation to do the exercises. Something more urgent and important always seems to come up and you never manage to find the time or energy to go through the course materials.

However resistance is coming up for you, notice it, and welcome it.

Welcome Everything, especially resistance. This is the first principle and practice of empathetic relating.

Embracing criticism, discomfort, pain, both within ourselves and in others, is challenging yet essential for growth. Welcoming these experiences, without necessarily agreeing with them, allows us to integrate darkness and light, fostering complete and authentic human experiences.

This state, known as equanimity, enables us to remain centred and aware in all circumstances. Turning away from difficult experiences disconnects us from the richness of human interactions, hindering genuine relationships.

This week’s practice is to Welcome Everything: Meeting yourself where you are.

1. Start by taking a pause, slowing down. Wherever you are and whatever you’re doing, slow down, breathe, and bring your full awareness to the present moment.
2. Notice how you feel in your physical body, observe and welcome whatever is there. Make full contact with the sensations, letting yourself feel them fully, taking your time.
3. Become aware of your emotions – how do you feel in this moment? Take your time and give space to all the subtle nuances of your emotional experience
4. Next, notice your mental space, and the thoughts, judgments, opinions, perceptions, memories, wonderings, and other mental activity that arises and passes through there.
5. In empathetic relating, there is nothing to change, improve, or fix. The practice is to notice and become aware of, to gather information about your moment to moment experience to make the most informed, intelligent, responsible, and empowered choices in life and in relationships that you can.

For the rest of this week, you may wish to connect with these affirmations

• I welcome all my thoughts, and emotions as they arise.
• I welcome any resistance, mistakes and imperfections as they arise.
• I welcome all the judgments and assumptions I have about myself and others
• I welcome space for each thought and feeling to be fully felt and expressed

Know that by choosing to embark on this journey you are already changing your relationship with your inner critic.

Know that you, as you are, right now, is more than enough.

Keep this with you for the rest of this week,

​

Wenlin